Val and others' stories

[Schmitt Industries Inc.]

Your mom seems really easy.

[YETI]

no more sex with your mom jokes. they arent funny and most of the time arent anything to brag about. most moms are ugly. except for donnies

[Schmitt Industries Inc.]

So?

[Forrest]

So you're all off-topic. My delete button has had a nice rest.

[Forrest]

I woke up this morning and decided I wanted toast. I got out two pieces of bread and put them in the toaster. Then I thought "hey, I'm hungry," so I put two more pieces in the toaster. I then got out the jelly, which I use instead of butter on toast, and I just sort of though "ah, what the hell. I'll make PB&J." Then I got out the peanut butter and I did.

[Miranda]

It's Thursday in third period, and we're planning our cinco de mayo party which is going to be celebrated a day late, and for some reason I raise my hand and yell out "I am going to make a cinco de mayo cake" I still have no clue why I would make a cake for one of the classes I hate. so anyways, I get home from KMXT, and I'm make the actual cake. The next morning I get out of my bed at 6:30, go downstairs and make some red, green, and white frosting, the colors of the Mexican flag. So I drag the cake to the high school, wait till third period and then break it out. Only two slices were eaten. I hate people.

[cifirrekcuT]

People aren't so bad. Just those ones are. I'd have had half of that cake, but then you might've hated me too.

YETI said:

no more sex with your mom jokes. they arent funny and most of the time arent anything to brag about. most moms are ugly. except for donnies

My mom's hot.

[Forrest]

Yesterday kicked some pretty severe ass. Last weekend, Alex and Ryan and I decided that this weekend there would be a bonfire. Alex and I had been wanting to do it for a while. Yesterday, still no plans had been made. I woke up at about 6:30, expecting to go to breakfast with Ryan and Uly before our SAT that very same morning. We went to McDonald's, ordered our food, and ate it all. It was sinfully delicious. We went to our SATs, and I went to take my sepcial Subject SAT on Math, Literature, and Spanish. Literature was actually pretty hard, Spanish was a piece of cake, and my calculator died before the math one, so I got my ass saved. Jessica had a calculator I could have borrowed, but I preferred to just not do it. After I finished my two tests, I went home hoping to find something to do. I called Val, to no avail. She was busy all day. I sat aroudn bored for about an hour, then I took a shower and talked to Alex. I decided to go hang out with him and Ryan, and we ended up going up on pillar without Ryan to film Alex's MacBeth video. I got to film. It was awesome. We found a tire and rolled it down the gravel pit a few times, and then threw it in the back of Alex's truck when we went up top. The main part of the movie was boxing between McDuff and Macbeth. It was pretty funny. After that, Alex decided he wanted to box me. The ogre strikes again. I had never boxed in my entire life, but I didn't even have to hit him and I won. So after that, we went over to another place on top of Pillar and rolled the tire down. We later decided we needed to set a tire on fire next time we did this. Alex and I went to Big Al's purchased some Pizza and a Hot Dog, and stole a Hot Dog bun. We then went to Blockbuster, and thent o Alex's house to watch American History X, one of the craziest movies I've seen in a while. After that, we were going to Ryan's houise when we found out he was having a bonfire. Alex dropped me off there, and I went to Mill Bay with Ryan, Andrew, and Nick. We sat there for a few minutes, until Leedy showed up, then Nick and Ryan went oto Spernard's to steal pallets, and Andrew and Justin and I went to Wal-Mart to do the same. We found a dresser, which was awesome, and a few pallets. We decided to come by some other time and knock over one of their piles of blue pallets, because it would be funny. So, after this, we went back to Mill Bay and started piling pallets. We decided, for some reason, to move an immensely large and wet log weighing probably 300 or 400 pounds to our fire pit, which we did after nearly breaking Leedy's foot. Dan Beehler had invited the God Squad from his church, who were just sitting at this picnic table, probably intending to join in our festivities, until they overheard me making several asshole-ish comments about our opposing desires. Andrew and Justin and I made a food run to Wal-Mart and Safeway, and then returned. The fire had been set, and left to die. We had to take it apart and rebuild it, but after that, I made it kick ass. Ryan, Uly, Dan, and Nick showed back up with more pallets, and we had set the dresser up on the cliff to be thrown into our fire later. We bult the fire up, got some driftwood so it wouldn't be gone in an hour. We began cooking hot dogs, and then some people started playing frisbee. Of course, right away, bam, frisbee in the water. At first I didn't plan on doing anythign, but then I took off my pants and started chasing it, until I saw all of the kelp down on the bottom, which was hiding the barnacle-encrusted rocks that I knew were down there. I turned back, wet and halfway naked, and my right nipple began to hurt immensely. It still hurts a lot. After this, we all just hung out and talked, and ate hot dogs. This went on for a while, with episodes of re-stoking the fire in between conversations. The God Squad departed, Max showed up with Molly, Sarah, and Rhiannon. Justin, Andrew and I decided it was time to throw our dresser. We got up on the cliff, got inot a very dangerous spot, and proceeded to hurl the dresser. Andrew said we should dedicate it to something, and suggested we dedicated it to the sickness of J. J. Gardener. I stood up and yelled "We dedicate this dresser to the sickness of J. J. Gardener!" We then all three hurled its woody bulk inot the fire, and we were nto expecting it to go as perfectly as it did. We launched it up inot the air, and it sailed down in slow motion, with explosions and gunfire all around it, down, down, inot the fire. It struck the exact center of the fire, broke in half, and immediately caught fire. I have never felt so sick and disgusting in my entire life. That is the most ass Justin, Andrew and Myself have collectively kicked for some time. Alex showed up after this, and therefore missed out. Loser. We sat aroudn for a while, and Sarah, Rhiannon, and Molly dissapeared into the woods for.. something. We let the party wind down, and everybody left. Andrew was giving Justin a ride home, and I was planning to spedn the night at Andrew's. We decided to throw a bunch of our hot dogs and buns at random people out of Ande's van. We thre a few hot dogs, squirted ketchup at some cars, then went to McDonald's and ordered a small fry and 10 waters, since the waters were free. We went around and blew our waters in like 10 minutes. After this, we went around and got a few more people with Hot Dogs, and finally took Justin home. Ande and I went to his house, and I slept. I woke up, came home, took a shower, called Val, and wrote this kickass story. My weekend has kicked ass.

[Miranda]

Damn, I should've skipped out on the Radio Show to come with you guys. You have to have another bonfire soon!

[yaefer]

we should totally do another one next weekend, only with more people since everyone wont be gone on the band trip and stuff. and then eventually when the thorstock date is announced, (its a very secret date, and in thorstock tradition it wont be released until at least a week before the actual show) we'll have the pre-thorstock bonfire, which is always bound to be totally awesome.



EDIT: in addition to all other hilariousness of last night, when we were rolling the giant log down the beach, justin sekarak claimed that it reminded him of the last time he had to get his mom out of bed. HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Tarja and Cristina's lover]

Today I got together with Cort Malmberg today and studied for the AP Psychology exam. Feeling confident we decided to take one of those practice tests. We completely sucked and we did not even make it through. Most of the stuff that was on the exam, we did not covered in Psychology class. Afer agreeing that we were not going to take the exam and get a refund for the exam, I took Cort home and proceed to go home myself. My brother left to go to my cousin's BBQ get together, which of course I was not invited to, so I decided to get started on my Faulkner essay. I was online, when Ande send me a message and asked me to click on a link. It turned out to be a virus, but I was on my brother's computer so I was not to upset. As I tried to get started on my Faulkner essay, the phone rang. It turned out to be some tv station in Seattle that was asking me to take a poll. Either taking a poll, or working on my essay, I decided to take the poll. Asking me if certain politicians were doing a good job or not, Social Security, if I was in debt, and if I was happy about my weight. The questions were suppose to take a minute. It took 2 minutes! Bastards. The poll ended, and here I am writing this story out.

[Forrest]

The Death Machine copped out? I'm going to have to give him a severe talking-to.

[sleepyhead]

we drop leedy off and head to my place. forrest suddenly decides we should go to white sands, so we go listening to mogwai and mum the way out. we get to the beach and hop out. noone is there, strange. i'm using my ipod for a torch. we keep hearing this strange screaming/calling sound from somewhere in the distance. so after stopping a few times we head towards the beach. i think i see something move. "oh shit... we should go". "yeah". we get back in the car and drive. i stop and try to listen for the sound some more, but it's gone. eventually we drive past this truck on the side of the road that we didn't notice before. so if it wasn't a deer/bear/banshee we heard, it must have been the sweet, female screams of ecstacy from the water's edge, or wherever the hell those people were fucking.

[sleepyhead]

completely irrational.

[Forrest]

Haha, I forgot about that. Man.

[Tarja and Cristina's lover]

On the beach. That is so not the place to do that in. All that sand, you can't see, you don't know if the tide is going to come in, many other factors.

[cifirrekcuT]

Yeah, but would you say no?

edit: I've got a story too, but it's too late to talk about details right now. So I don't forget, it's about the studio and McDonald's.


nevermind. not exciting.

[Forrest]

I want to hear it!

[cifirrekcuT]

I guess I've got plenty of time now.

Studio time on Sunday so I could get Forrest a higher quality sound for the songs he's heard and told me he liked. It was just Vita and I having our way with the Pro Tools HD and a sweet ribbon mic about the size of a supersized beverage from a drive-through. For those interested, we used a Shure Beta 52 on the kick, an Audix D2 on the snare top, a Shure Beta 57 on the snare bottom, Audix D4 on the rack, Sennheiser 421 on the floor tom, two AKG 391 condensors in x/y pattern for overheads and the ribbon mic across the room as a room mic. It's polar pattern is figure-eight. In other words, it picks up its signal in two opposite cardioid directions. But Vita had the idea of putting it close to the back wall and setting up a flat music stand in front of it so it picked up no direct signal from the drums. This turned out to be an excellent idea for some natural verb. We'll see how it works out in mix-down. When I started playing, the OH Hi-hat mic stand was too close to my arm and I was hitting it with the stick and my elbow when I got really into some parts, which is unavoidable. So I told Vita to come up with a better idea while I went onto the control 24 and designed myself a click-track. When I came back in, he had taken the boom from a different mic stand, attached it to the end of another tall stand, extended it as far as it could reach, used another stand for middle support, and another placed on the base of the giant one for a weight. So he had three and a half stands set up just for my OH HH 391, but there were no stands withing swinging distance, so mission accomplished.
Recording went very smoothly. With Vita around and a couple beers in the gullet and some caffeine in my veins, laying tracks was fun rather than nerve-racking. Vita's a great guy to have around in the studio. He played with me on some songs (on his bass parts) for scratch and so it was easier for me to keep intensity up.
It was about 2:30am when all of my tracks were successfully laid down with no problems (so far. My fingers are crossed). I showed Vita this bassline I tried to write my freshman year in college. He started laughing, then I started laughing. He told me to keep playing and messed with a few settings on his external effects pod that the bass was running through and he soaked it in chorus and a little delay and verb and it sounded like a smooth plotted-porn riff. We were both a little delerious, so we thought it'd be best if we laid it down. I played it for about two minutes with a big-time mess-up in the middle when I looked up at the timer to see how much longer I had to play this sick bassline, but we kept it anyway. When I was done, Vita pulled out his guitar and did some sleazy porn leads on one track then some rhythm wah strumming on another, then I went in and laid down some very Steely Dan-esque perverted fresh beats which turned out better than either of us had hoped. We looped the whole thing, opened the doors to the studio, turned it up and played it for anyone in the area that happened to be making out, just to enhance the experience. We cleaned up, packed up, and headed out. I should have the sleaze mixed by this weekend, if I'm a little bit lucky and have my shit together.
We parted ways and I was hungry. It was about 3:30am at this point. There were three ones in my ashtray of my van, so the next step was the dollar menu; a McChicken, a double cheeseburger, and a small uncaffeinated softdrink. When I rolled up to the window, it was the same guy from last time I was there during the unGodly AM hours (the time I walked home from Jeff's at 5:30am, stopped by for a little breakfast and they put some free cheese on one of my sandwiches because I recognized the lyrics to APC's Pet for him when he couldn't remember the name.) He recognized me and was like "Oh hey, dude! What's up?"
"Nothing, just got done in the studio recording some stuff (he knows I'm in a band currently)."
"Cool. Hey, do you want, like, a few free drinks? They're just sitting here."
"Yeah! Of course I do."
He put them in a bag and handed me a literacola, a literasprite, a small coke, and the small root beer and burgers I ordered. I drove away pleased that I had listened to enough APC to get me free cheese and teeth rotting beverages. I went home and didn't sleep until nearly 7am.

[Forrest]

That is awesome. Late night stories are always worth posting, no matter how "lame" they may seem.